


All Apologies

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-27
Updated: 2003-12-27
Packaged: 2018-07-12 08:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7093453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gunn and Wes argue it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

Balancing the heavy box on one knee, Gunn knocked on Wesley’s door. There was a pause and the sound of footsteps coming closer then, “Who’s there?”

“It’s Gunn.”

A fumble with the locks and the door was opened. Wesley leaned against the door and looked at him coldly. “Can I help you?” he rasped. The pain it must be causing him to speak sent a dagger into Gunn’s stomach.

He looked good at least. Not clean shaven but Gunn chalked that up to Wesley not wanting a razor so close to his neck. He ignored the little voice in his head that reminded him Wesley hadn’t been shaven in a while. But aside from the stubble he looked good. Even with those accusatory eyes…

Gunn lifted the box slightly. “Fred said these were yours. There are two more in the truck. The ones no one was sure of we kept ‘cause we figured we’d… um-“

“Use them more?” supplied Wesley.

“Yeah.”

Wesley swung the door open with only a hint of impatience. “Set it on the table. Are the other ones in the bed of your truck?”

Gunn set the box down. “No. I thought it might rain so I kept them in the cab with me.” He didn’t like the tone in Wesley’s voice. Gunn almost felt as if Wesley was the one who was feeling betrayed.

When they went out to the truck and Gunn opened the passenger door a shower of books and various artifacts fell to the ground.

“Oh yes. They’ll be much safer in the cab,” mocked Wesley as he bent to pick up the fallen objects.

Still silent, Gunn set his jaw and bent to help. There was a pause in Wesley’s movements and Gunn looked up to see that Wesley was holding a knife. A dagger, actually. The one Angel had given him when he’d returned from his sabbatical. There was a long pause and Gunn seriously wondered if Wesley was remembering bad times or good.

Wesley gave a dismissive laugh that seemed mostly intended to make Gunn think Wesley had scared away whatever memories clouded his eyes but when he finally did return Gunn stare the blue eyes were not as clear as he’d probably hoped. There was an instant - a brief but hard hitting instant that rang with Gunn for a very long time afterwards- when Gunn looked into those eyes and wanted to apologize. It didn’t matter if he was wrong, if Angel was wrong, if Wesley was wrong. He just wanted to apologize completely and for that to fix everything. For that to make Wesley’s face light up, and maybe even put a hand on his shoulder and they’d share a smile. The way it used to be.

But instead he rose up and followed Wesley to the building. Halfway up the walk he stopped to shift the weight of his box and it over turned and spilt the contents everywhere.

Wesley turned around and looked down at Gunn who was already picking up the mess. “I’m sorry, are you doing this on purpose?” Wesley demanded.

Gunn dropped the box angrily and stood up. “Hey, I’ve gone out of my way to bring you your stuff even though we probably could have used them at the office for research and you’ve done nothing but ride my ass since I got here. News flash, Wes, you’re the one who betrayed us. We’re the ones who are angry with you.”

“Nice try, Gunn. But I’ve done my penance for the part I played in Holst’s little scheme and I refuse to let you- or anyone else for that matter- make me feel like I just handed Connor over to Holst no questions asked.”

“Isn’t that what you did?” Gunn sneered.

Wesley just stared at him. “I can’t believe you of all people would question my motives. You know about the prophecy, I-“ Wesley stopped short and took a deep breath. “No,” he said slowly, calmly. “I’m not going to explain anything to you. You never once asked for my side of things and I am not about to volunteer the information.”

“You don’t have a side of things, Wes. There’s nothing you can say to excuse giving Holst Angel’s kid. Nothing.”

Wesley nodded once. “Well, I’m certainly glad things are black and white on your side of the fence. Though last time I checked, you were more than willing to allow shades of gray when your friends tore up Caritas.”

Gunn shook his head, angrily. “There’s a difference.”

“Yes, the difference is I never expected you to be anything other than human.” He turned around to walk into the apartment but stopped suddenly. “I think that of all the people who have let me down in this whole fiasco you were the biggest disappointment.”

“Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” asked Gunn, walking around in front of him to stand a hairsbreadth away from the small box that came between he and Wesley. “First off I never expected you to be other than human. I’ve seen and staked inhuman…”

“And now you side with inhuman,” finished Wesley bitterly.

“You know what? Fuck you, man. I sided with Angel because you didn’t give me any other choice. You didn’t come to me about this prophecy, you haven’t let me in on anything in months and I’d supposed to feel bad I don’t know what’s going on with you? I don’t think so.”

Wesley threw down the box, books and daggers and sacred amulets falling onto the fresh cut lawn. He stepped up to Gunn’s face and let the full blaze of the fire that burned inside him loose on Gunn. “I tried to open up to you. But the minute we stepped out of Pylea you’ve done nothing but pull away from me and ignore me and compete with me on anything and everything you thought I wanted. And once that wasn’t enough you started dating Fred and I disappeared from your line of vision. So don’t tell me I didn’t try. I all but screamed in your face that I needed you and you couldn’t be bothered. If after all this time you were still having problems with me as the head of Angel Investigations- I don’t care. That’s something you should have worked out a long time ago- before you became hot and cold over my leadership abilities.” Wesley pulled back slightly, his throat ached for a cold drink and all the talking he’d just done couldn’t be good for his damaged voice box. He pressed a hand gently to his throat and looked up at Gunn coldly. “Get out of here. Leave my belongings on the ground and just go.” He stepped around Gunn’s silent form and walked back to his building.

When he reached his apartment he all but burst inside. In his haste to get to the faucet he left the door open and so after Gunn picked up Wesley’s things and got to the apartment door that’s how he saw Wesley; leaning over, clutching his throat.

“Are you ok, man?” asked Gunn pushing the door open all the way.

Wesley straightened up suddenly, biting comment on his tongue. However the sincere concern on Gunn’s face caused him to rethink his words. “All the talking, the raised voice, it was too much too soon.” If possible, his voice was even more scratchy.

“Is there something you take for it?” asked Gunn coming inside and putting the boxes down.

”In my medicine cabinet there’s a spray.” 

Gunn disappeared into Wesley’s bedroom and was back almost immediately with the spray. “They sure have you on a lot of pain killers,” he commented with raised eyebrows.

Wesley opened the nozzle of the spray and looked over at Gunn blankly. “Thank you for your help, you can go now.”

Gunn shook his head in disbelief. “See? That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. You won’t let anyone help you, always trying to do everything yourself.”

“Yes well lately I haven’t had a choice.” Gunn held off on his retort as he watched Wesley spray the strong smelling liquid into the back of his throat. Before Gunn could continue the argument Wesley raised his hand slightly. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Gunn. I don’t want to fight right now. I’m not in the mood and it won’t get us anywhere.” He set the bottle down on the counter and gestured to the door. “Thank you very much for bringing my things and for carrying them in. Tell Fred I appreciate it as well please. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”

For a long moment Gunn didn’t move, finally he sighed. “Whatever. If we find anything else I’ll have Fred drop it by.” With that he walked out, all but slamming the door.

When the pictures on the wall stopped shaking Wesley let out the breath he’d been holding and leaned heavily on the counter. He knew that Gunn was wrong about a lot of things. But it was true he’d withheld the prophesy from Gunn.

That was his right as the boss, wasn’t it? That’s what leaders do. It’s called an acceptable sacrifice and if he could risk the life of innocent Pyleans he damned well better be willing to risk his job to save a child. He was the boss, these were decisions he had to make.

But how long was he going to hide behind titles? How long was he going to use them as a barrier, keeping people from getting too close? His watcher title had made him arrogant and unable to befriend even a former watcher. The self-given title of rogue demon hunter had made him untouchable. Without them he’d been lost. A stumbling fool bumbling about the office, uncertain of his future and his place at Angel Investigations. 

And the title of ‘boss’? It had just been so easy to become the same closed off person he’d once been. All decision, no explanation… not even to Gunn.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Wesley wondered what other former friends would darken his doorway. He opened the door, surprised to see Gunn. His face was pained and his eyes were almost swimming. “Gunn? What?”

Gunn met Wesley’s eyes and it was obvious their argument had affected Gunn as well. “Tell me your side of things?” he asked quietly.

Wesley pulled Gunn into his arms and accepted his apology.

END


End file.
